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| Laurianna | My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it. ~ Buddy Hackett | | |
| Laurianna | If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? ~ Milton Berle | | |
| Laurianna | If your baby’s beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time, you’re the grandma. ~ Theresa Bloomingdale | | |
| Laurianna | The hardest job facing kids today is learning good manners without seeing any. ~ Fred Astaire | | |
| Laurianna | People who say they sleep like babies, usually don't have them. ~ Leo J. Burke | | |
| Laurianna | Diaper backwards spells repaid. Think about it. ~ Marshall McLuhan | | |
| Laurianna | I don't know why they say "you have a baby." The baby has you. ~ Gallagher | | |
| Laurianna | When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad. ~ Helen Rowland | | |
| Laurianna | In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. ~ Woody Allen | | |
| Laurianna | My husband said it was him or the cat... I miss him sometimes. ~ Anonymous | | |
| Laurianna | We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. ~ Henny Youngman | | |
| Laurianna | The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. ~ Robert Bloch | | |
| Laurianna | Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. ~ Homer Simpson | | |
| Laurianna | The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. ~ Unknown | | |
| Laurianna | A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. ~ Unknown | | |
| Laurianna | What do you mean, my birth certificate expired? ~ Unknown | | |
| Laurianna | He who laughs last didn't get it. ~ Unknown | | |
| Laurianna | Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. ~ Unknown | | |
| Laurianna | Procrastinate now, don't put it off. ~ Unknown | | |
| Laurianna | I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. ~ Unknown | | |
| Laurianna | 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot. ~ Unknown | | |
| Laurianna | The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up. ~ Unknown | | |
| Laurianna | All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand. ~ Unknown | | |
| Laurianna | When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. ~ Unknown | | |
| Laurianna | What happens if you get scared half to death twice? ~ Unknown | | |
| Laurianna | A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking. ~ Unknown | | |
| Laurianna | Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. ~ Unknown | | |
| Laurianna | Find a guy that adores you and not one that you adore! ~ Mom | | |
