Defining Friendship

I was asked to write an article on friendship, so I thought the first thing to do, would be to look up the word friendship in the dictionary. It seems each dictionary, be it Webster’s, American Heritage or the Internet's Wikipedia, has a different definition. My thoughts then turned to my friendships and what exactly they meant to me. 

In my life, I have four distinctive friendships. The first is the friendship I have with my Mother. As a single parent, she had the help of my Grandmother in raising me. When I became a teenager, we became more friends, than Mother and Daughter. I told her everything that was going on in my life, I held nothing back. When I was a little older and started dating, I would come home at night and open her door, as she slept on the third floor of our house, and asked her if she was awake. When she said yes, I would sit on the bottom of the stairs and tell her all about my night. When I met my husband-to-be, she knew before me, as she would tell me later, “you stopped sitting on the bottom of the steps, telling me about your evenings – I knew he was the one”. 

The second is the friendship I have with my husband. Most people find him very brash when they first meet him, but you always know exactly where you stand with him. I have found, over the years, that his initial impression when meeting someone, for the first time, is generally right on the money. He would give you the shirt off his back if he thought you needed it. Being friends as well as husband and wife has gotten us through twenty-five years of marriage. During that time, we have shared pain, sorrow and I can tell you it is nice to know that he is always there, for me, no matter what.

The third is my friendship with my three Daughters. I treasure that friendship with all three of them. You hear so many children today say they don’t get along with their parents, but I have never felt that from them. As they were growing up, I acted as a confident, a go-between and a parent. They always knew I was there to listen and / or help them in any way I could. They are now grown woman, but they still know they can come to me at anytime, and I will listen and / or help them in any way I can. 

The fourth, probably the most precious to me, is my friendship with my best friend of over 50 odd years. She and I met when I was in first grade and she was in kindergarten. We met walking to school, as she lived a block away from me. Over those 50 odd years, we have shared so much; it would take days to write. We went through grade school as happy go lucky children, sharing what little children share together. She went to Brownies, Girls Scouts and Sunday school with me. She would go to every Elvis Presley movie with me and I would go roller skating with her. Junior High School years found our friendship, at times, strained. My Father was a policeman, which kept me in line, and her parents were changing religions, which cause a great upheaval in her life. As we went into High School, we drifted apart for a few years, as our lives were going in different directions. When my Grandmother passed away, my best friend knew I would need her. She came to the funeral and we just picked up our friendship as if we had never been away from each other. Today, we live 1500 miles apart, but you would never know it, if you saw us together. We keep in touch with periodic phone calls, emails and flying to each other’s homes - spending time together. We now talk about living together, one day, when we are in our 90’s and how much fun that will be! So, in reality I guess Webster’s, American Heritage and Wikipedia are right, there are, different definitions of friendship.

About the Author:

Melaine Findlay is an administrative assistant, married and has three grown daughters.